Lessons learned in the "house of pain"

Approximately 7 weeks ago I decided to join a private gym and enlist the services of a buff private trainer. As I pen this post, I have pain in muscles that I didn't even know that I had. As a distraction from the discomfort I feel in my body, my mind started to wander to common phrases that have been barked at me repeatedly over the last 7 weeks and of their relevance to me outside of gym aka "the house of pain".

"Come on, push yourself!"

"It's all in the mind!"

"You can do it!"

"Finish what you've started!"

I've heard the above phrases so many times over the past couple of weeks that I find myself saying them to myself in different settings (yes, I do speak to myself!).

Three major lessons that I've learned are that:

1. "I can often keep going long after I thought I had no more strength left in me."
2. "It really matters what message is playing in my head."
3. "Sometimes finishing what I've started is realising that I can go no further than I've already come."

"I can often keep going long after I thought I had no more strength left in me."

During my first conversation with my trainer, I admitted that I can be quite lazy when it came to exercise and that I knew enough about myself to know that I will need to be pushed in order to get the desired results. My own words have come back to haunt so many times over the past 7 weeks when I realise that I really would much rather be in my cosy bed than doing squats, "mountain climbers" or pushing tyres around the studio floor!

I've been pleasantly surprised to find that I actually can do so much more than I'd initially thought I'm able to do. This realisation has been one of the many benefits I'm enjoying from consistently going to gym. Outside of "the house of pain", I've now found that I'm able to push myself harder to keep going past my comfort zone.

"It really matters what message is playing in my head."

So many times while training I've caught myself complaining, cursing the trainer or simply repeating the reasons why I just hate doing a particular exercise. In those moments, I've had to talk myself into changing my mind chatter and have surprisingly found that changing my thoughts had an impact on how I performed physically.

The lesson outside of gym is that sometimes we talk ourselves out of life's blessings by our negative self talk. I've learned that sometimes all that I had to do in order to have a different, more positive experience is to change my thoughts about a situation/ change my perspective about an experience and have found that in going this, things really seemed different.

One of my favourite Bible verse is Philippians 4:8 and I keep realising the power in these words:

"Finally, believers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable and worthy of respect, whatever is right and confirmed by God’s word, whatever is pure and wholesome, whatever is lovely and brings peace, whatever is admirable and of good repute; if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think continually on these things [center your mind on them, and implant them in your heart]." - Philippians 4:8 (Amplified)

"Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies." - Philippians 4:8-9 (The Message)

"Sometimes finishing what I've started is realising that I can go no further than I've already come."

As stated in the first lesson, I sometimes want to give up while there's still strength left in me to keep going. At other instances, I've had to give up without finishing what I started with good intentions to see it through. Acknowledging that I have failed and learning from the failure, dusting myself off and getting back up again is one of the most humbling lessons that life has taught me both inside and outside of gym.

While sweating and training in the gym, I've had moments when I've simply failed to finish the reps and have had to acknowledge that my body had just had enough for the day. In those moments, "finishing what I've started" is simply taking a break; wiping sweat off my face; drinking some water then hit the shower - knowing that I need to refresh and come back to train again another day.

Outside of gym, this has meant coming face-to-face with my inability to finish a task/ acknowledging that the relationship that I thought was for keeps was just not going to last/ realising that I am not "Super Woman" after all and that sometimes I just will not "do it all".


I know that it's still early days but I sure do hope that I keep at my new habit until it becomes a part of my lifestyle - I definitely have had so many benefits from my constant visits to "the house of pain". By writing this piece, I hope to encourage you to also get your own journey to becoming a better version of yourself - no matter the challenges and pain you have to push through in order to realise your dreams.

10th November 2014...

The curious title for this post is because I'm not sure what I'll end up penning (that's code for: "I feel like rambling on some". Today's been one of those weird days: I woke up very heavy hearted and I couldn't pinpoint what the cause was. I just blamed it on the hormones (yes Nosy, it's THAT time of the month).


As I drove to work I took a call from my mom telling me of the passing of Dr Myles Munroe... I was sad to hear the news but I really wasn't shaken. Death makes me sad but I'm not "shaken to the core" by it (story for another day).


As the morning unfolded I had so much on my mind: #Purpose #LivingWell #FinishYourRace #Love #Influence #Legacy these were all influenced by all the tributes I read of this great man.

I'm sitting here right now and I'm just inspired to be all that God has created me to be. If you remember anything from this extremely random post, I do pray it is this: "Life is not as long as we act like it is. Live hard; laugh hard; love hard."


God causes our paths to cross with so many people, if you have the opportunity to leave have an indelible influence on someone - make sure that it's a good mark you leave.


#LetLoveReign in you and through you.

"When are you getting married?"

Since my late twenties the question I seem to hear more that any other has got to be, "When are you getting married?" ... when I draw a blank or sound non-committal in my response; that question is usually followed by, "Do you WANT to get married?". Oh boy!

For all those who don't know me from a bar of soap, let me start by giving you a bit of background (not too much - I've still to get over my phobia of 'oversharing' on this internet with a memory like an elephant!): I am a 31 year old black woman, living in South Africa. I am a Christian i.e. what I do/ don't do; feel guilty about doing; how I do what I do etc. is always influenced by my relationship with Jesus Christ. I was raised by my single mom, am her only child (and 1 of about 26 children sired by my late father - I tell you no lies #StoryForAnotherDay). I am the eldest grandchild from my mom's family; the first grandchild to go to varsity; live on her own (and behind my back, I know that I'm called "The Independent One"). Okay, I digress but that should give you some indication of what kind of "animal" you're dealing with here.

Now, back to that question. It's not that I don't want to get married and it's not that I don't sometimes miss having someone who will care that I fell and cried like a baby i.e. the small, seemingly unimportant daily happenings in my life - I do want all of that but... well, if it was so easy then I'd have that. Right? I've actually started responding to this question in this way (depending on who is asking):

• an older lady asking "the question", get's this response "Ma, you need to pray harder for that man to find me!"
• a guy friend asking "the question", get's this response "Bhuti, when are you hooking me up with some eligible brothers?"
• a girl friend asking "the question", get's this response "Sisi, you're dropping the ball - when are you pointing your eligible brothers my way?"

I have found that these response (or a variation of them) usually removes the attention (and blame) away from me and the conversation can then continue to other more important topics. #HowToDodgeABullet

What inspired me to rant on this blog is a meeting that I had yesterday with an older brother/ YoungDaddy who I hadn't seen in a while. As we were catching up "THE QUESTION" came up once again and I guess that got me thinking. I know that writing about this slight frustration won't stop "my people" from asking me, "When are you getting married?" or the variation, "Why aren't you married yet?" but this sure has helped me get something off my chest.

Thanks for "listening". #AsYouWere

When I Became a Man

"When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me." - 1 Corinthians 13:11 New International Version (NIV)

Death be not proud...

I've just learnt of the sudden passing of one of my colleagues. In the announcement of his passing, the following was quoted:


Dehino ‘smin yatha dehekaumara yauvana jaratatha dehantara-praptirdhiras tatra na muhyati (Bhagavad gita, Chapter 2, Text 13)


Translated: “As the embodied soul continuously passes, in this body, from boyhood to youth to old age, the soul similarly passes into another body. A sober person is not bewildered by such a change”.

I thought that is quite a profound text. Death is not the end, merely a transition. ‪#‎DeathBeNotProud‬
I could not help but think of 1 Peter 4:12,13:


"12 Dear friends, don’t be surprised at the fiery trials you are going through, as if something strange were happening to you.


13 Instead, be very glad—for these trials make you partners with Christ in his suffering, so that you will have the wonderful joy of seeing his glory when it is revealed to all the world." (New Living Translation)


‪#‎ThinkItNotStrange‬


1 Corinthians 10: 13 also came rushing through my mind:


"No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it." (New King James Version)


"The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure." (New Living Translation)


I cannot imagine what pain his family is going through - or will be going through "when the dust settles". Death is not an easy experience but it certainly is not a unique experience. I pray that his family will be comforted during this time.


Death be not proud...

Thoughts from my recent trip to Israel

One of the things that struck me the most during my recent trip to Israel (1^st – 9^th March 2014) is how much of the land the people used for farming and the whole time I was there, I enjoyed drinking their grapefruit juice and sampling a wide range of fruits on a daily basis!

In my ignorance about Israel, I did not realise how advanced their Agricultural Industry is – I honestly just thought of the “Holy land” as a dry place! I can compare my surprise to how, when I first arrived in Johannesburg in 2006, I pleasantly discovered that the “City of Gold” was not the concrete jungle that I had envisioned – its many trees being the city’s saving grace in this regard.

A quick Google search revealed the following interesting facts:

“Agriculture in Israel is a highly developed industry: Israel is a major exporter of fresh produce and a world-leader in agricultural technologies despite the fact that the geography of Israel is not naturally conducive to agriculture. More than half of the land area is desert, and the climate and lack of water resources do not favor farming. Only 20% of the land area is naturally arable. Today agriculture represents 2.5% of total GDP and 3.6% of exports. While agricultural workers make up only 3.7% of the work force, Israel produces 95% of its own food requirements, supplementing this with imports of grain, oilseeds, meat, coffee, cocoa and sugar.”

As we went about our pilgrimage, I could not help but compare their mostly dry and relatively small land to my home country, South Africa. I’m no land expert but when I look around, South Africa has far more optimum farming conditions and plenty of unused land yet the utilisation cannot be compared to Israel’s use of their land resource. During my 8 days in Israel, I kept on thinking of the many “idle” fields in my own village and surrounding villages and couldn’t help feel some sadness.

My mom is fond of reminiscing and sharing stories of her childhood with me. Whenever we drive around the Eastern Cape, where we both were born, she always points out how many trees there were and how once upon a time the people used the land to reap a plentiful harvest – year after year!

As I write this, I have many questions regarding what could have gone “wrong” over the last couple of decades to shift the priority from the agriculture. What little I know about farming is that it is not for the lazy! Could it be that we have become lazier… maybe we’ve gone “softer”? Whatever the answer, I now realise more than I ever did how precious an asset the land that we have is.

 

Often the tilled land that I saw in Israel was surrounded by rubble or by stony terrain and some of the greenhouses were not what one would call “state-of-the-art” but it was clear to me that those less than ideal factors did not deter those farmers from using their land.

 

Banana trees with rubble and "dirt" right where they are growing

I’m challenged… I do pray that I will not just be challenged without any corresponding action… It is not enough to lament the status quo and do nothing about it!
                                                       

 

A 2000 year old tree in the Garden of Gethsemane


----oOo----

*All pictures in the article were taken by the author (yes, yours truly :-D ).

 

 

Some interesting resources:

· http://africacheck.org/reports/is-johannesburg-the-worlds-largest-man-made-forest-the-claim-is-false/
· http://www.moag.gov.il/agri/files/Israel's_Agriculture_Booklet.pdf
· http://israelmybeloved.com/farming-agriculture/
 

Nakedness...

...or more accurately - the fear of appearing naked before another person... that is what is on my mind as I type this.

I was just thinking about how much more I would like to write but am just too afraid to. Maybe that's akin to wearing a mask or maybe that is just self-preservation - whatever it is, there are just some thoughts that I am more comfortable "covering up" and only letting them be know to God and myself.

Lately the theme of nakedness/ vulnerability has surfaced in different conversations I've had and so this topic is one that has captured my thought-life a lot over the past couple of days.

I smile and speak to a lot of people everyday but I don't "bare my soul" to most of them... some of you might say that that is prudent and how we should interact with people and some might argue that this borders on presenting a false version of yourself... Getting to know someone new requires some work and some level of vulnerability as you present to them who you are...

The thought of opening myself up and then being rejected is something that actually scares me into my shell at times... well... that's how I was:-) A relentless young man has been pursuing me for a couple of months now and while I like him enough to not tell him to "buzz off"', I was too scared to let him come too close. I've been down this road before, you see? You bare your soul, you allow someone to see the "real" you and they decide that they don't like what they see... I know that it's best that those kind of people don't stick around but that doesn't make that bitter pill any easier to swallow.

Well, I've decided to be naked and unashamed with this dude... he seems "safe" enough... only time will tell whether my "discerner" picked him up accurately enough...