Lessons from nature

Today's entry is inspired by beautiful lessons I learned this morning during my quiet time/ morning meditation.

I am a part of a beautiful accountability group and this morning, as I excitedly went through some of the amazing testimonies shared by some of the members, I found myself wondering about my "breakthrough" and what was holding it back. In true fashion, God began answering my silent inquiry through a series of thoughts; quotes, and stories I've filed away in my head over the years. I remembered that some of the best lessons are found in nature. 

Have you seen how different trees and flowers can all grow side by side, each growing and blooming at its own pace - some seasonal while others are evergreen? When looking at nature, we are able to view each plant and appreciate its unique beauty without comparing it to the one growing right next to it.   

Another story that popped into my head is that of the Chinese Bamboo, which remains seemingly dormant/ dead for years before it starts growing. The first important lesson I gleaned from the story of the Chinese Bamboo is that the seed was planted in the first place. The second lesson for me is that the one who plants the seed needs to consistently water the seed even though nothing seems to be happening. This is the life of walking by faith! Plant the seeds, do the work, and then allow the process to unfold. 

With today's blog, I hope to encourage anyone who may be feeling a tad bit frustrated at God's apparent silence/ inaction. As I encourage myself, to you I also say, "Your life's journey will not look like the person's next to you but it is just as beautiful. Keep watering the soil of your soul and bloom at your own beautiful pace. Do not allow comparison to steal your joy!"  

DISCLAIMER: I do not own the images I've used, I found them on the internet.

Thoughts on Fathers day 2020

Every year on Father's day, I don't know who to wish a Happy Father's Day to. Everyone and their Aunty have an opinion on who to honour on this day.

As a girl raised by a single mother, I especially struggled with this day when I was younger.

I'm grateful that I was able to forgive my biological father for being absent because that unforgiveness was a heavy burden to bear.

My mom has tried her best to play the role of both parents in my life but, I needed my dad to be the first man to show and tell me love... to make me feel protected. I'm grateful that in my life, even with no reference of an earthly father, I have been able to cultivate a relationship with my heavenly Father.

I have had many people who have played "father figure", from my maternal grandfather to my uncles; boyfriends; lovers; family friends; managers at the workplace; colleagues and "brothers".

On this day I choose to honour every man that has played a "father figure" role in my life... No matter how often I express my appreciation, I will never be able to fully articulate how grateful I am to you for choosing to model that "fatherly love" for me.

On this day, I honour all the fathers who choose to be present and do their best to play this important role - to their biological children and those that destiny has gifted them with. I see you, I pray for you because we need you to be healthy and sane... You are loved.

Being real, dealing with shame, overcoming failures and walking tall

As I type this I am in the thick of a situation that is teaching me a great deal about dealing with shame, overcoming failures and not allowing them to drown and overwhelm you.

I'll spare you the details of the situation but I will share with you some important lessons that I was reminded of and learned during this time:

1. Shame thrives in being hidden/ covered up, in you cowering/ hiding, in dark spaces. Allow yourself to be seen (by those you trust, of course) and deal with the shame head-on. In this space, Brene Brown is an absolutely empowering resource.

2. What other people think of you/ say about you is none of your business. This is something I embraced years into my adulthood and it's held me in good stead. When faced with people knowing about an issue that you would rather have kept hidden, there's really no value in agonizing over what people are saying behind your back. You can never control people's conversations about you and their thoughts regarding you so just talk to yourself to not spend too much time wondering/ stressing about that.

3. Change your focus. It's easy to feel like the whole world is coming to an end but honestly, there are always bigger and more important matters going on around you - even when you are thick in a crisis. I found that changing my focus to other matters helped me not think that my personal "crisis of shame" is what every conversation is about.

4. Accept grace (unmerited favour) and love. Sure, there will always be people who will judge and condemn you but there are also people who will show you love and provide you with a safe space to be naked and unashamed. If you do not have any people like that in your life, you can always pay for the services of a professional who's interest is not in showing you how horrible you are but in helping you deal with the situation you are facing. I am a Christian, so for me, this also meant accepting God's grace. Advice that I've always given people is to always maintain honest communication with God - there's nothing you can do that can shock Him!

5. Remember to breathe and maintain an attitude of gratitude. Whatever is going wrong in your life, I guarantee you that there are things you can be grateful for. Keep reminding yourself of whatever good there is in your life.

This is by no means an exhaustive list of the lessons I've learned but what was on my mind to write. Whatever situation you may be faced with... it may be the end of the world as you knew it but it's not the end of the world. Get up, dust yourself off and keep walking (whether or not you are limping or even if crawling is all you can muster) ... let us fail forward!

Sending you love.