Little by little...

I was reading the Word when I came across Deuteronomy 7:22-24 which reads, "And the LORD your God will drive out those nations before you little by little; you will be unable to destroy them at once, lest the beasts of the field become too numerous for you. But the LORD your God will deliver them over to you, and will inflict defeat upon them until they are destroyed. And He will deliver their kings into your hand, and you will destroy their name from under heaven; no one shall be able to stand against you until you have destroyed them."

I have been thinking a lot about my spiritual growth lately, especially about my challenges/ weaknesses. I sometimes feel despondent when I see myself against the mirror of God's word (James 1:22-25) and see all the "nations" that are inhabiting my "promised land"and I find myself wishing that I'd wake up and be perfect (mature) already! In reply to these feelings of despondency, the Lord impressed in my spirit that each believer's Christian walk is a marathon and not a sprint. We all need to concentrate on fighting the good fight of faith and finishing strong. I'm grateful knowing that with the Lord as my dwelling place (the vine), I (the branch) will bear fruit.

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"As you therefore have received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in Him, rooted and built up in Him and established in the faith, as you have been taught, abounding in it with thanksgiving." - Colossians 2: 6-7

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A long way to go

Man, I still have a plenty way to go! Once again I've been hit with the truth of how much I need God. This happens to me sometimes but lately it's been happening more often - the consecration fast, you got it!

One of my heart's loudest prayers is to remain a true worshipper of the Most High God the rest of my life. I desire to be an old woman of 95, sitting around with my children and grandchildren talking to them about the God of my youth. Sometimes I feel my heart jump inside me as I realise that many a well-meaning believer has fallen by the wayside and with that realisation comes the truth that as well-meaning and sincere as I am in my worship, I too am not infallible ... but God.

The solution is to stay at His feet, not be complacent in my walk with God and to daily give myself over to Him. It is possible, with God.

God's process...

Often when you look on as a carver is chiselling a block of wood you won't see what he's making. So it is even with us, as the Painter; the Potter; the Carver is fashioning us, it might not be clear what He's making out of our individudal lives but we can be sure that when He's through, we will be "something good" that'll bring glory to His name.

Right now we're going through a corporate Consecration Fast at my family church (Eagles Christian Centre, Sandton) and I tell you the only thing holding me together is the knowledge that He knows my name; has a plan for my life and has me in the palm of His hand. I look at myself and see how much I need God... alone I'm really not much and I'm capable of great blunders but with Him the possibilities are endless. Afterall, I am the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus:-)

Thank you Abba for your process that will propell me into the greatness you have predestined me to walk in. All to the glory of Your name.

Offence...

I've noticed a couple of times, after speaking to different people, that they had expected me to take offence over something they had said during our conversation. Understand me now: I did not take offence; did not see a need to take offence but upon reflection the other parties felt that I might have. I know this because they came back to me to ask if I was "okay", only then did I realise that I could've been offended by what they'd said. These incidents made me wonder if people have always been so sensitive that we feel we must always walk on eggs in our interactions with eachother.

Maybe it's all the awareness of our emotions and emotional wellbeing and the emphasis on building up our emotional intelligence that has made our emotional antennaes pick up even the slightest possibility of having offended a friend/ colleague/ family member.

I like when Pastor Dag Heward Mills says that church is "the city of offence"! So, expect to be offended and don't take it personally:-)

An article I read on "God's new covenant kingdom" called our 21st century society "an emotional-response culture" where we have placed such importance on feelings that we respond to life based on emotions and seldom on the facts; intentions of those we interact with; and the truth.

Mmmhhh... once again, just sharing my thoughts with you.

A real-life princess...

I grew up an only child to a single mother and in all that time I cannot honestly say that I dreamt of my wedding day or how married life would be... for real. I guess my reality at that time didn't allow me to. I never slept over at friends' houses (my mom was strict like that) so I was never faced with a different reality as far as home life was concerned.

It was only in grade 11 (standard 9) that I slept over at a friend's house whose parents were married and still lived together. I was at a total loss. It hit me at that moment that I had never slept in the same house as a man... I didn't know what to do or how to behave! Going to shower after the first night was so funny! My friend couldn't understand it but I was asking questions like, "So, do you just go to the bathroom in your towel or do you have to wear a gown?". I didn't know what the "proper" way to act was. After that weekend I started thinking about married life and I began secretly wondering what my own home will be like.

A couple of years later, I'm 27 years old and I often dream of that wedding day and that wonderful life-long committment my husband and I will make to each other. I look forward to getting to know this man, having his children and seeing the Lord show me Himself through this union. I plan to be married forever, till death do us part. That is the plan and I'm convinced God's delighted by that so He'll back me up in this:-)

Come on now husband, find me already! I'm ready to be a real life princess:-)

Peace... love and all that good stuff!

As I write this I'm thinking of a brother of mine who I've just had an email conversation with - a very pleasant one... nothing spectacular, just pleasant and all the while I felt light - a lovely feeling. This got me thinking about someone else in my life right now who I'm not in a pleasant space with and the moment I thought of them I felt a heaviness in my body.

Emotions are interesting things, aren't they? The emotions and thoughts are in your head and soul and yet you're able to feel them in your body... amazing how God has connected our mind/ soul, body and spirit.

Thinking about how the Bible teaches us to "put on Christ" and how this will affect the fruits of our character. Things you do in your physical body like practice self-control; read the Bible and meditate on what it teaches; decide to act kindly and bite your tongue during an argument all have an impact on your inner man and infact, they are a pointer to what you are like inside... all connected.

How do you raise a "nice child"?

I'm a nice person. There. I said it:-)

Now, now, don't get worked up and start accusing me of being arrogant or vain or whatever other word you can think of. I'm not claiming to take all the credit for this, I'm just acknowledging what I am convinced is a truth. Whenever someone comments on how sweet or nice I am I tend to think of my mom and the difficulties she had raising me up and I can't help but wonder, "how'd she do it?".

Because I have decided to folow Jesus and live a meaningful Christian life, I know that raising my children has to be soley Word-based so that sort of takes care of the "theoretical stuff". However, the fact that there are plently of people who were raised by practicing Christians and DIDN'T turn out "nice" is cause for concern? Where did they get it wrong?

These are just thoughts... since I am yet to raise a child, I do not have any practical experience but it's definately something I'd like to pick your brain on. What do you think determines how well your child turns out?

Internal dictionary

Have you ever wondered how many words you know?

I do so all the time...

I was playing one of those word games where you're given a matrix of letters and you earn points by making up words and some of the words that came up just amazed me. On the flip side, I've been in situations where I'm desperately trying to find the right word and it just doesn't seem to come up.

I really would like to know how many words I have stored in my internal memory... aah well!

Random ramblings

Today is one of those days when I have a plethora of thoughts just swimming and colliding in my head but the most dominant one is just how "heavy" and complex people are!

I could probably elaborate but, since I'm not using a pseudonym, you might just know who I'm talking about.

My soul is feeling extremely heavy... that could be as a result of the consecration fast we're in so the misery I'm feeling is a good thing - all honing my person to be better and more deserving of this treasure I'm holding.

I did entitle this "Random ramblings" so it's length, lack of structure and single-minded thought pattern shouldn't be held against me... I just needed an outlet.

Thanks for lending an ear...