A mountain, a fire, pain and gratitude

On Sunday 18th April 2021 I woke up early to meet my hiking buddies at Celia Forest. After three hours of sweating, beautiful conversations and amazing views, we went our separate ways. As I approached Mowbray, where my off-campus student accomodation is, I noticed that there was a fire on Table Mountain. The rest of that afternoon played out like a well-written movie as I watched the fire move closer and closer to where I live and I saw pictures and videos of the UCT campus up in flames and students being evacuated out of some of the residences on campus. Thankfully the fire did not reach where I live but I had to evacuate for a few hours because the smoke was seeping into my room. There was extensive damage to property to UCT's Upper and Middle Campus and UCT's VC has suspended all academic activity for the rest of the week while the university assesses the extent of the damage. All the reports that I have seen indicate that there has thankfully not been any loss of life, although a few of the firefighters were injured. As I type this, I believe that the fire has finally been contained, thanks to the heroic and tireless efforts of the firefighters. Monday morning I woke up to excruciating pain in my shoulder area. The optimist in me believed that this would subside but by late afternoon it had become worse. Fearing that I was suffering a heart attack or a stroke (please don't judge me, I've watched too many American medical series to not have reached this conclusion), I presented myself to the nearest emergency room I could get to. The doctor who examined me allayed my fears of anything like a heart attack or a stroke and he confirmed that my shoulder joint was also functioning well. This helped me calm down but I was still in a lot of pain. I decided to go back home and not stay the night in hospital. Tuesday morning, I presented myself to a GP and she confirmed that my lungs were healthy. Her diagnosis was that I might be suffering from Costochondritis which is an inflammation of the cartilage that connects a rib to the breastbone. I couldn't hide my disappointment when the doctor told me that Costochondritis usually has no apparent cause and that treatment would focus on easing my pain while I wait for the condition to improve on its own. This morning I woke up an realised that over the past couple of days, my focus had been on the excrutiating physical pain I had been feeling and on the devastation caused by the fire. While I had moments of gratitude, I had let go of my intentional gratitude practice. It's easy to be grateful when things are good but, not so much when the negative things of life happen. Right now, I intentionally choose gratitude. I choose to remember all the things that I have to be grateful for. I choose to believe that there is always something to be thankful for. I pray that you choose to do the same. #IntentionalLiving #GratefulLiving #Gratitude #IChooseGratitude

Lessons learned in the "house of pain"

Approximately 7 weeks ago I decided to join a private gym and enlist the services of a buff private trainer. As I pen this post, I have pain in muscles that I didn't even know that I had. As a distraction from the discomfort I feel in my body, my mind started to wander to common phrases that have been barked at me repeatedly over the last 7 weeks and of their relevance to me outside of gym aka "the house of pain".

"Come on, push yourself!"

"It's all in the mind!"

"You can do it!"

"Finish what you've started!"

I've heard the above phrases so many times over the past couple of weeks that I find myself saying them to myself in different settings (yes, I do speak to myself!).

Three major lessons that I've learned are that:

1. "I can often keep going long after I thought I had no more strength left in me."
2. "It really matters what message is playing in my head."
3. "Sometimes finishing what I've started is realising that I can go no further than I've already come."

"I can often keep going long after I thought I had no more strength left in me."

During my first conversation with my trainer, I admitted that I can be quite lazy when it came to exercise and that I knew enough about myself to know that I will need to be pushed in order to get the desired results. My own words have come back to haunt so many times over the past 7 weeks when I realise that I really would much rather be in my cosy bed than doing squats, "mountain climbers" or pushing tyres around the studio floor!

I've been pleasantly surprised to find that I actually can do so much more than I'd initially thought I'm able to do. This realisation has been one of the many benefits I'm enjoying from consistently going to gym. Outside of "the house of pain", I've now found that I'm able to push myself harder to keep going past my comfort zone.

"It really matters what message is playing in my head."

So many times while training I've caught myself complaining, cursing the trainer or simply repeating the reasons why I just hate doing a particular exercise. In those moments, I've had to talk myself into changing my mind chatter and have surprisingly found that changing my thoughts had an impact on how I performed physically.

The lesson outside of gym is that sometimes we talk ourselves out of life's blessings by our negative self talk. I've learned that sometimes all that I had to do in order to have a different, more positive experience is to change my thoughts about a situation/ change my perspective about an experience and have found that in going this, things really seemed different.

One of my favourite Bible verse is Philippians 4:8 and I keep realising the power in these words:

"Finally, believers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable and worthy of respect, whatever is right and confirmed by God’s word, whatever is pure and wholesome, whatever is lovely and brings peace, whatever is admirable and of good repute; if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think continually on these things [center your mind on them, and implant them in your heart]." - Philippians 4:8 (Amplified)

"Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies." - Philippians 4:8-9 (The Message)

"Sometimes finishing what I've started is realising that I can go no further than I've already come."

As stated in the first lesson, I sometimes want to give up while there's still strength left in me to keep going. At other instances, I've had to give up without finishing what I started with good intentions to see it through. Acknowledging that I have failed and learning from the failure, dusting myself off and getting back up again is one of the most humbling lessons that life has taught me both inside and outside of gym.

While sweating and training in the gym, I've had moments when I've simply failed to finish the reps and have had to acknowledge that my body had just had enough for the day. In those moments, "finishing what I've started" is simply taking a break; wiping sweat off my face; drinking some water then hit the shower - knowing that I need to refresh and come back to train again another day.

Outside of gym, this has meant coming face-to-face with my inability to finish a task/ acknowledging that the relationship that I thought was for keeps was just not going to last/ realising that I am not "Super Woman" after all and that sometimes I just will not "do it all".


I know that it's still early days but I sure do hope that I keep at my new habit until it becomes a part of my lifestyle - I definitely have had so many benefits from my constant visits to "the house of pain". By writing this piece, I hope to encourage you to also get your own journey to becoming a better version of yourself - no matter the challenges and pain you have to push through in order to realise your dreams.