Wednesday, April 21, 2021

A mountain, a fire, pain and gratitude

On Sunday 18th April 2021 I woke up early to meet my hiking buddies at Celia Forest. After three hours of sweating, beautiful conversations and amazing views, we went our separate ways. As I approached Mowbray, where my off-campus student accomodation is, I noticed that there was a fire on Table Mountain. The rest of that afternoon played out like a well-written movie as I watched the fire move closer and closer to where I live and I saw pictures and videos of the UCT campus up in flames and students being evacuated out of some of the residences on campus. Thankfully the fire did not reach where I live but I had to evacuate for a few hours because the smoke was seeping into my room. There was extensive damage to property to UCT's Upper and Middle Campus and UCT's VC has suspended all academic activity for the rest of the week while the university assesses the extent of the damage. All the reports that I have seen indicate that there has thankfully not been any loss of life, although a few of the firefighters were injured. As I type this, I believe that the fire has finally been contained, thanks to the heroic and tireless efforts of the firefighters. Monday morning I woke up to excruciating pain in my shoulder area. The optimist in me believed that this would subside but by late afternoon it had become worse. Fearing that I was suffering a heart attack or a stroke (please don't judge me, I've watched too many American medical series to not have reached this conclusion), I presented myself to the nearest emergency room I could get to. The doctor who examined me allayed my fears of anything like a heart attack or a stroke and he confirmed that my shoulder joint was also functioning well. This helped me calm down but I was still in a lot of pain. I decided to go back home and not stay the night in hospital. Tuesday morning, I presented myself to a GP and she confirmed that my lungs were healthy. Her diagnosis was that I might be suffering from Costochondritis which is an inflammation of the cartilage that connects a rib to the breastbone. I couldn't hide my disappointment when the doctor told me that Costochondritis usually has no apparent cause and that treatment would focus on easing my pain while I wait for the condition to improve on its own. This morning I woke up an realised that over the past couple of days, my focus had been on the excrutiating physical pain I had been feeling and on the devastation caused by the fire. While I had moments of gratitude, I had let go of my intentional gratitude practice. It's easy to be grateful when things are good but, not so much when the negative things of life happen. Right now, I intentionally choose gratitude. I choose to remember all the things that I have to be grateful for. I choose to believe that there is always something to be thankful for. I pray that you choose to do the same. #IntentionalLiving #GratefulLiving #Gratitude #IChooseGratitude

Thursday, April 1, 2021

Becoming Miss Nandi

Last year I decided to embark on a new leg of my life journey when I applied to study towards being a qualified teacher. One of my adopted baby sisters and my youngest cousin have both always called me "Miss Nandi" and so I guess, they called it years before the thought even came to my mind! As I pen this, it has been a month since I began with my week-long observation as a local high school in East London and it has been about two weeks of PGCE classes at UCT. The week I spent observing seasoned teachers as a student teacher was the first time I was in a classroom since matriculating in the year 2000. It was amusing to see the dynamics between students and teachers as a third-party. That week had me reminiscing about my own high-school days. I read Economics and Finance as my undergraduate degree at UCT exactly 20 years ago. It has really been lovely being back on campus two decades later. There have been a lot of changes coupled with a lot of reminiscing and going down memory lane. Add the "new normal" of online learning due to the Corona Virus pandemic, it has really been challenging and eye-opening in so many ways. I think that when I decided to pursue this qualification, I walked into in naively and already in the first two weeks I have been challenged to think about teaching, schooling, curriculum in a deeper - almost philosophical way. I have always looked at older ladies who are fearless when it comes to adapting to change in their lives and it's wo funny to hear people in my life (especially younger women friends) use the words "brave" and "courageous" when describing me. I really hadn't thought of myself in that manner but, I welcome having my life encourage someone to take risks, embrace change and thrive during difficult circumstances. I look forward to the many ways that being a full time student will positively affect my life. One thing is certain, I know that I will be a better person at the end of this year because of the teachers I'm sitting under.

Monday, January 11, 2021

My vow of abstinence

I've been wanting to write something down about what God is doing in my life and today, I was finally moved to put pen to paper as I watched an episode from one of my favourite podcasts: Dear Future Wifey with Laterras R Whitfield. Today as I watched Season 2, E208: A Vow of Abstinence (Dr. Conway Edwards & Michael Bethany). I was ministered to in an amazing way as I listened to the teaching shared by Dr. Conway Edwards, as I listened to the conversation and joined in on the worship session! 

It always fills me with so much gratitude how, whatever I go through, I always find some brave person sharing their own journey with something similar. I'm grateful for every person who has courageously chosen to live their life intentionally and transparently so that many will share in the wisdom and encouragement gleaned from how their story is unfolding. 

I gave my life to Jesus in Primary School and while I haven't been a poster child for Christianity, my relationship with God has always been the lens through which I've interpreted life. I got introduced to sex quite young when I was molested as a 10 year old, oral sex in high school then when I decided I wanted to have sex when I got to varsity.

During my walk with God, I walked away from him in my early twenties but even when I recommitted my life to following and serving Christ, I definitely kept my sexuality / sex life out of the equation. As a result, this part of my life has been the source of the most angst / drama / conflict for me.

Towards the end of 2020, I finally got to the point where I decided to give ALL OF ME to God. I guess I really just realised that I've done things my way and failed miserably so now, I'm doing things God's way. I don't expect my life of abstinence to be easy because I've experienced some "good sex" in my life but, it's a vow I'm making to God.

"being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ;" - Philippians 1:6 NKJV

"[Not in your own strength] for it is God Who is all the while effectually at work in you [energizing and creating in you the power and desire], both to will and to work for His good pleasure and satisfaction and delight." - Philippians 2: 13 AMPC

#Covenant #Abstinence #MyVow #Worship #DearFutureWifey #DearFutureHusband #IntentionalLiving #LivingIntentionallyAndTransparently #LoveReigns 

Thursday, July 30, 2020

Lessons from nature

Today's entry is inspired by beautiful lessons I learned this morning during my quiet time/ morning meditation.

I am a part of a beautiful accountability group and this morning, as I excitedly went through some of the amazing testimonies shared by some of the members, I found myself wondering about my "breakthrough" and what was holding it back. In true fashion, God began answering my silent inquiry through a series of thoughts; quotes, and stories I've filed away in my head over the years. I remembered that some of the best lessons are found in nature. 

Have you seen how different trees and flowers can all grow side by side, each growing and blooming at its own pace - some seasonal while others are evergreen? When looking at nature, we are able to view each plant and appreciate its unique beauty without comparing it to the one growing right next to it.   
Another story that popped into my head is that of the Chinese Bamboo, which remains seemingly dormant/ dead for years before it starts growing. The first important lesson I gleaned from the story of the Chinese Bamboo is that the seed was planted in the first place. The second lesson for me is that the one who plants the seed needs to consistently water the seed even though nothing seems to be happening. This is the life of walking by faith! Plant the seeds, do the work, and then allow the process to unfold. 

With today's blog, I hope to encourage anyone who may be feeling a tad bit frustrated at God's apparent silence/ inaction. As I encourage myself, to you I also say, "Your life's journey will not look like the person's next to you but it is just as beautiful. Keep watering the soil of your soul and bloom at your own beautiful pace. Do not allow comparison to steal your joy!"  



DISCLAIMER: I do not own the images I've used, I found them on the internet.

Sunday, June 21, 2020

Thoughts on Fathers day 2020

Every year on Father's day, I don't know who to wish a Happy Father's Day to. Everyone and their Aunty have an opinion on who to honour on this day.

As a girl raised by a single mother, I especially struggled with this day when I was younger.

I'm grateful that I was able to forgive my biological father for being absent because that unforgiveness was a heavy burden to bear.

My mom has tried her best to play the role of both parents in my life but, I needed my dad to be the first man to show and tell me love... to make me feel protected. I'm grateful that in my life, even with no reference of an earthly father, I have been able to cultivate a relationship with my heavenly Father.

I have had many people who have played "father figure", from my maternal grandfather to my uncles; boyfriends; lovers; family friends; managers at the workplace; colleagues and "brothers".

On this day I choose to honour every man that has played a "father figure" role in my life... No matter how often I express my appreciation, I will never be able to fully articulate how grateful I am to you for choosing to model that "fatherly love" for me.

On this day, I honour all the fathers who choose to be present and do their best to play this important role - to their biological children and those that destiny has gifted them with. I see you, I pray for you because we need you to be healthy and sane... You are loved.



Wednesday, January 29, 2020

Being real, dealing with shame, overcoming failures and walking tall

As I type this I am in the thick of a situation that is teaching me a great deal about dealing with shame, overcoming failures and not allowing them to drown and overwhelm you.

I'll spare you the details of the situation but I will share with you some important lessons that I was reminded of and learned during this time:

1. Shame thrives in being hidden/ covered up, in you cowering/ hiding, in dark spaces. Allow yourself to be seen (by those you trust, of course) and deal with the shame head-on. In this space, Brene Brown is an absolutely empowering resource.

2. What other people think of you/ say about you is none of your business. This is something I embraced years into my adulthood and it's held me in good stead. When faced with people knowing about an issue that you would rather have kept hidden, there's really no value in agonizing over what people are saying behind your back. You can never control people's conversations about you and their thoughts regarding you so just talk to yourself to not spend too much time wondering/ stressing about that.

3. Change your focus. It's easy to feel like the whole world is coming to an end but honestly, there are always bigger and more important matters going on around you - even when you are thick in a crisis. I found that changing my focus to other matters helped me not think that my personal "crisis of shame" is what every conversation is about.

4. Accept grace (unmerited favour) and love. Sure, there will always be people who will judge and condemn you but there are also people who will show you love and provide you with a safe space to be naked and unashamed. If you do not have any people like that in your life, you can always pay for the services of a professional who's interest is not in showing you how horrible you are but in helping you deal with the situation you are facing. I am a Christian, so for me, this also meant accepting God's grace. Advice that I've always given people is to always maintain honest communication with God - there's nothing you can do that can shock Him!

5. Remember to breathe and maintain an attitude of gratitude. Whatever is going wrong in your life, I guarantee you that there are things you can be grateful for. Keep reminding yourself of whatever good there is in your life.

This is by no means an exhaustive list of the lessons I've learned but what was on my mind to write. Whatever situation you may be faced with... it may be the end of the world as you knew it but it's not the end of the world. Get up, dust yourself off and keep walking (whether or not you are limping or even if crawling is all you can muster) ... let us fail forward!

Sending you love.

Friday, December 20, 2019

Drama at the airport... Waving 2019 goodbye, waiting for 2020 in anticipation

Yesterday day I was scheduled to fly home for Christmas but there was such drama that I was inspired to post about the whole thing.

I got to the airport a bit early coz knew I needed to wrap my bag. The police created a bit of a delay driving in so I was early but not as early as planned. While I was I was waiting for my bag to be wrapped, the machine broke down and I had to move to another one. (I didn't want to chance not wrapping my bag after I had my perfume and jewellery stolen out of my bag in August). While waiting for the bag to be wrapped, I checked in online with only two minutes before the online check-in was closed.

After my bag was wrapped I then ran to the check-in counter to leave my luggage only to be told that check-in was closed so I couldn't leave my bag. Apparently, my only option was to buy another ticket. I quickly checked and the next available ticket was today afternoon for R2599 and I knew then I had to think fast and make another plan.

At this point, it's 10 minutes before the boarding gate closes. I go to a kiosk with a gentle brother (a Rastafarian fellow with kind eyes) and ask to leave my bag with him. He obliged, for a "small fee" of R250. I remembered that a friend had said she'd be driving down to East London on Sunday so I was hoping that she could take the bag with her. She could only come through today to fetch my bag from whoever I'd leave it with so I quickly called one of my mothers (an older lady I met and became friends with about 10 years ago) to organise for my bag to be picked up coz the guy I left it with would knock off at 19h00.

All of this I'm doing while trying to get to my boarding gate. Oh, did I mention that the ladies at the gates went through my luggage coz my perfume bottle had a cap "that looked like a weapon"?! LOL At this point I'm thinking, "Lady, you can have the bottle cap but I'm not losing another perfume to airport staff!" Fortunately, she realised that it wasn't a weapon and I now had to sprint to the boarding gate.

I get to the boarding gate, C12, only to be redirected to E7 (downstairs from where I was). I was told I had 5 minutes to board! By the time I actually boarded I'm sweating like a maniac but grateful to have made it!

What a way to start my holiday! I'm so grateful for God's grace, quick-thinking and for the people he put along my way who were willing to help.

Now that I'm home safe, my luggage is secured all is well, I am smiling at how God just wanted to show me his grace in an exciting way that left me even more excited about 2020! A new season of grace is surely coming.

Monday, October 1, 2018

Winded by an act of kindness...

After a long absence today I was inspired to write my first blog of 2018! A lot has happened since the last time I posted something but today I was so overwhelmed that I needed to open the floodgates and let the words flow through me.

Today is the 1st October 2018, a "normal" Monday by many standards except - two colleagues conspired to show me such kindness that I spent a good part of my lunch break in the powder room... crying, praising God and just soaking in the love.

Before I share what touched me so deeply, let me share some context: I am currently employed in a South African state-owned entity that has a flawed performance management system. I consider it flawed because your appraisal is based on your line manager and many managers have used this system to stick it to their subordinates.

This past financial year I was transferred to a division where the manager seemed to have it in for me... this was my experience and also confirmed by many colleagues who have asked me in confidence what I have done to the lady boss for her to not like me so much! Needless to say, I endured quite a lot "character-building" moments while working with her and these all culminated in the appalling assessment she gave me at the year-end review. I took it all on the chin because I knew that working with her was a part of God's plan for me to develop my character. The poor performance score she gave me meant that I would not be eligible for a performance bonus - for the first time since I joined the organisation in 2011.

The performance bonuses were paid out last Friday and while all around me my colleagues were planning how they would spend their bonus, I decided to exercise not making a big production of my circumstance; not taking things personally and rather rejoice with others without once letting them suspect that I did not receive the bonus payout.

All the above was setting the scene for what really inspired this blog post: two managers that I had also worked with during the year came to me with cash in their hands. They both had knowing looks... they told me that the money was their way of showing me that I'm not alone and that despite the poor performance score that they know I received from my line manager, they wanted me to know just how much they appreciated all my hard work.

Needless to say, I cried... I was so moved by their gesture of kindness. Their actions left me filled with so much love that words cannot describe.

Today's blog is a to encourage someone who may be feeling unappreciated. I need you to rest in the knowledge that God always sees your good works... when you work - whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.

A man reaps what he sows... Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Also, may we do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers whenever the opportunity presents itself. 

Wednesday, February 15, 2017

When in doubt, seek clarity

This morning I had an experience that inspired this post. It'll be brief, I'm really just writing to vent:-) 

I don't know what it is about growing up that teaches us that asking questions will make us look bad. I once heard a saying which encourages seeking clarity as opposed to staying in the dark.

"He who asks a question is a fool for five minutes; he who does not ask a question remains a fool forever."  Chinese Proverb

I suppose society generally makes it seem like people are born knowing things but in reality, we all are clueless at some point... until we take the time to learn and gain the knowledge about any one topic. 

I decided a while back to risk appearing foolish for the sake of gaining information and knowledge and I'm glad that I made that decision - it really has fared me well.

If you gain anything from my little rant, I pray that it's to affirm the importance of seeking clarity whenever in doubt!

Thursday, October 20, 2016

Lessons learned in the "house of pain"

Approximately 7 weeks ago I decided to join a private gym and enlist the services of a buff private trainer. As I pen this post, I have pain in muscles that I didn't even know that I had. As a distraction from the discomfort I feel in my body, my mind started to wander to common phrases that have been barked at me repeatedly over the last 7 weeks and of their relevance to me outside of gym aka "the house of pain".

"Come on, push yourself!"

"It's all in the mind!"

"You can do it!"

"Finish what you've started!"

I've heard the above phrases so many times over the past couple of weeks that I find myself saying them to myself in different settings (yes, I do speak to myself!).

Three major lessons that I've learned are that:

1. "I can often keep going long after I thought I had no more strength left in me."
2. "It really matters what message is playing in my head."
3. "Sometimes finishing what I've started is realising that I can go no further than I've already come."

"I can often keep going long after I thought I had no more strength left in me."

During my first conversation with my trainer, I admitted that I can be quite lazy when it came to exercise and that I knew enough about myself to know that I will need to be pushed in order to get the desired results. My own words have come back to haunt so many times over the past 7 weeks when I realise that I really would much rather be in my cosy bed than doing squats, "mountain climbers" or pushing tyres around the studio floor!

I've been pleasantly surprised to find that I actually can do so much more than I'd initially thought I'm able to do. This realisation has been one of the many benefits I'm enjoying from consistently going to gym. Outside of "the house of pain", I've now found that I'm able to push myself harder to keep going past my comfort zone.

"It really matters what message is playing in my head."

So many times while training I've caught myself complaining, cursing the trainer or simply repeating the reasons why I just hate doing a particular exercise. In those moments, I've had to talk myself into changing my mind chatter and have surprisingly found that changing my thoughts had an impact on how I performed physically.

The lesson outside of gym is that sometimes we talk ourselves out of life's blessings by our negative self talk. I've learned that sometimes all that I had to do in order to have a different, more positive experience is to change my thoughts about a situation/ change my perspective about an experience and have found that in going this, things really seemed different.

One of my favourite Bible verse is Philippians 4:8 and I keep realising the power in these words:

"Finally, believers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable and worthy of respect, whatever is right and confirmed by God’s word, whatever is pure and wholesome, whatever is lovely and brings peace, whatever is admirable and of good repute; if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think continually on these things [center your mind on them, and implant them in your heart]." - Philippians 4:8 (Amplified)

"Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies." - Philippians 4:8-9 (The Message)

"Sometimes finishing what I've started is realising that I can go no further than I've already come."

As stated in the first lesson, I sometimes want to give up while there's still strength left in me to keep going. At other instances, I've had to give up without finishing what I started with good intentions to see it through. Acknowledging that I have failed and learning from the failure, dusting myself off and getting back up again is one of the most humbling lessons that life has taught me both inside and outside of gym.

While sweating and training in the gym, I've had moments when I've simply failed to finish the reps and have had to acknowledge that my body had just had enough for the day. In those moments, "finishing what I've started" is simply taking a break; wiping sweat off my face; drinking some water then hit the shower - knowing that I need to refresh and come back to train again another day.

Outside of gym, this has meant coming face-to-face with my inability to finish a task/ acknowledging that the relationship that I thought was for keeps was just not going to last/ realising that I am not "Super Woman" after all and that sometimes I just will not "do it all".


I know that it's still early days but I sure do hope that I keep at my new habit until it becomes a part of my lifestyle - I definitely have had so many benefits from my constant visits to "the house of pain". By writing this piece, I hope to encourage you to also get your own journey to becoming a better version of yourself - no matter the challenges and pain you have to push through in order to realise your dreams.

Monday, November 10, 2014

10th November 2014...

The curious title for this post is because I'm not sure what I'll end up penning (that's code for: "I feel like rambling on some". Today's been one of those weird days: I woke up very heavy hearted and I couldn't pinpoint what the cause was. I just blamed it on the hormones (yes Nosy, it's THAT time of the month).


As I drove to work I took a call from my mom telling me of the passing of Dr Myles Munroe... I was sad to hear the news but I really wasn't shaken. Death makes me sad but I'm not "shaken to the core" by it (story for another day).


As the morning unfolded I had so much on my mind: #Purpose #LivingWell #FinishYourRace #Love #Influence #Legacy these were all influenced by all the tributes I read of this great man.

I'm sitting here right now and I'm just inspired to be all that God has created me to be. If you remember anything from this extremely random post, I do pray it is this: "Life is not as long as we act like it is. Live hard; laugh hard; love hard."


God causes our paths to cross with so many people, if you have the opportunity to leave have an indelible influence on someone - make sure that it's a good mark you leave.


#LetLoveReign in you and through you.

Saturday, October 18, 2014

"When are you getting married?"

Since my late twenties the question I seem to hear more that any other has got to be, "When are you getting married?" ... when I draw a blank or sound non-committal in my response; that question is usually followed by, "Do you WANT to get married?". Oh boy!

For all those who don't know me from a bar of soap, let me start by giving you a bit of background (not too much - I've still to get over my phobia of 'oversharing' on this internet with a memory like an elephant!): I am a 31 year old black woman, living in South Africa. I am a Christian i.e. what I do/ don't do; feel guilty about doing; how I do what I do etc. is always influenced by my relationship with Jesus Christ. I was raised by my single mom, am her only child (and 1 of about 26 children sired by my late father - I tell you no lies #StoryForAnotherDay). I am the eldest grandchild from my mom's family; the first grandchild to go to varsity; live on her own (and behind my back, I know that I'm called "The Independent One"). Okay, I digress but that should give you some indication of what kind of "animal" you're dealing with here.

Now, back to that question. It's not that I don't want to get married and it's not that I don't sometimes miss having someone who will care that I fell and cried like a baby i.e. the small, seemingly unimportant daily happenings in my life - I do want all of that but... well, if it was so easy then I'd have that. Right? I've actually started responding to this question in this way (depending on who is asking):
  • an older lady asking "the question", get's this response "Ma, you need to pray harder for that man to find me!"
  • a guy friend asking "the question", get's this response "Bhuti, when are you hooking me up with some eligible brothers?"
  • a girl friend asking "the question", get's this response "Sisi, you're dropping the ball - when are you pointing your eligible brothers my way?"
I have found that these response (or a variation of them) usually removes the attention (and blame) away from me and the conversation can then continue to other more important topics. #HowToDodgeABullet

What inspired me to rant on this blog is a meeting that I had yesterday with an older brother/ YoungDaddy who I hadn't seen in a while. As we were catching up "THE QUESTION" came up once again and I guess that got me thinking. I know that writing about this slight frustration won't stop "my people" from asking me, "When are you getting married?" or the variation, "Why aren't you married yet?" but this sure has helped me get something off my chest.

Thanks for "listening". #AsYouWere

Friday, October 3, 2014

When I Became a Man





"When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me." - 1 Corinthians 13:11 New International Version (NIV)







Friday, June 13, 2014

Death be not proud...

I've just learnt of the sudden passing of one of my colleagues. In the announcement of his passing, the following was quoted:


Dehino ‘smin yatha dehekaumara yauvana jaratatha dehantara-praptirdhiras tatra na muhyati (Bhagavad gita, Chapter 2, Text 13)


Translated: “As the embodied soul continuously passes, in this body, from boyhood to youth to old age, the soul similarly passes into another body. A sober person is not bewildered by such a change”.


I thought that is quite a profound text. Death is not the end, merely a transition. ‪#‎DeathBeNotProud‬
I could not help but think of 1 Peter 4:12,13:


"12 Dear friends, don’t be surprised at the fiery trials you are going through, as if something strange were happening to you.


13 Instead, be very glad—for these trials make you partners with Christ in his suffering, so that you will have the wonderful joy of seeing his glory when it is revealed to all the world." (New Living Translation)


‪#‎ThinkItNotStrange‬


1 Corinthians 10: 13 also came rushing through my mind:


"No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it." (New King James Version)


"The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure." (New Living Translation)


I cannot imagine what pain his family is going through - or will be going through "when the dust settles". Death is not an easy experience but it certainly is not a unique experience. I pray that his family will be comforted during this time.


Death be not proud...

Monday, March 31, 2014

Thoughts from my recent trip to Israel

One of the things that struck me the most during my recent trip to Israel (1st – 9th March 2014) is how much of the land the people used for farming and the whole time I was there, I enjoyed drinking their grapefruit juice and sampling a wide range of fruits on a daily basis!

In my ignorance about Israel, I did not realise how advanced their Agricultural Industry is – I honestly just thought of the “Holy land” as a dry place! I can compare my surprise to how, when I first arrived in Johannesburg in 2006, I pleasantly discovered that the “City of Gold” was not the concrete jungle that I had envisioned – its many trees being the city’s saving grace in this regard.

A quick Google search revealed the following interesting facts:

Agriculture in Israel is a highly developed industry: Israel is a major exporter of fresh produce and a world-leader in agricultural technologies despite the fact that the geography of Israel is not naturally conducive to agriculture. More than half of the land area is desert, and the climate and lack of water resources do not favor farming. Only 20% of the land area is naturally arable. Today agriculture represents 2.5% of total GDP and 3.6% of exports. While agricultural workers make up only 3.7% of the work force, Israel produces 95% of its own food requirements, supplementing this with imports of grain, oilseeds, meat, coffee, cocoa and sugar.”

As we went about our pilgrimage, I could not help but compare their mostly dry and relatively small land to my home country, South Africa. I’m no land expert but when I look around, South Africa has far more optimum farming conditions and plenty of unused land yet the utilisation cannot be compared to Israel’s use of their land resource. During my 8 days in Israel, I kept on thinking of the many “idle” fields in my own village and surrounding villages and couldn’t help feel some sadness.

My mom is fond of reminiscing and sharing stories of her childhood with me. Whenever we drive around the Eastern Cape, where we both were born, she always points out how many trees there were and how once upon a time the people used the land to reap a plentiful harvest – year after year!

As I write this, I have many questions regarding what could have gone “wrong” over the last couple of decades to shift the priority from the agriculture. What little I know about farming is that it is not for the lazy! Could it be that we have become lazier… maybe we’ve gone “softer”? Whatever the answer, I now realise more than I ever did how precious an asset the land that we have is.
 
Often the tilled land that I saw in Israel was surrounded by rubble or by stony terrain and some of the greenhouses were not what one would call “state-of-the-art” but it was clear to me that those less than ideal factors did not deter those farmers from using their land.

 
Banana trees with rubble and "dirt" right where they are growing

I’m challenged… I do pray that I will not just be challenged without any corresponding action… It is not enough to lament the status quo and do nothing about it!
                                                       





 
A 2000 year old tree in the Garden of Gethsemane


----oOo----

*All pictures in the article were taken by the author (yes, yours truly :-D ).
 
 
Some interesting resources:

· http://africacheck.org/reports/is-johannesburg-the-worlds-largest-man-made-forest-the-claim-is-false/
· http://www.moag.gov.il/agri/files/Israel's_Agriculture_Booklet.pdf
· http://israelmybeloved.com/farming-agriculture/
 

Nakedness...

...or more accurately - the fear of appearing naked before another person... that is what is on my mind as I type this.

I was just thinking about how much more I would like to write but am just too afraid to. Maybe that's akin to wearing a mask or maybe that is just self-preservation - whatever it is, there are just some thoughts that I am more comfortable "covering up" and only letting them be know to God and myself.

Lately the theme of nakedness/ vulnerability has surfaced in different conversations I've had and so this topic is one that has captured my thought-life a lot over the past couple of days.

I smile and speak to a lot of people everyday but I don't "bare my soul" to most of them... some of you might say that that is prudent and how we should interact with people and some might argue that this borders on presenting a false version of yourself... Getting to know someone new requires some work and some level of vulnerability as you present to them who you are...

The thought of opening myself up and then being rejected is something that actually scares me into my shell at times... well... that's how I was:-) A relentless young man has been pursuing me for a couple of months now and while I like him enough to not tell him to "buzz off"', I was too scared to let him come too close. I've been down this road before, you see? You bare your soul, you allow someone to see the "real" you and they decide that they don't like what they see... I know that it's best that those kind of people don't stick around but that doesn't make that bitter pill any easier to swallow.

Well, I've decided to be naked and unashamed with this dude... he seems "safe" enough... only time will tell whether my "discerner" picked him up accurately enough...

Thursday, January 30, 2014

Miss Reluctant Lovesick Puppy

So here I am, sitting at my desk sipping on some tea - trying very hard to pretend that I am not aware of my loudly silent phone. I keep glancing at it even though no message notification has "sung" the all too familiar bell. I feel silly for doing it but find myself doing it again... and again... and again... hoping that maybe this time I'll find the "you've got mail" icon flashing. *sigh*
That is what I've become since he has come into my life. I have not know him that long and I am reluctantly liking him more and more with each passing day.
 
I've been in love before (I'm talking of romantic kind of love) and I am surrounded by people who love me... friends; family and the most amazing Love of all (God's unconditional Love). I have also known heartbreak (and caused some heartbreak too!) ... maybe that explains my reluctance to be the Lovesick Puppy I see myself becoming.

Yes, I'm scared... but in the poetic words of Daughtry, "I'm starting to believe this could be the start of something good."
Hang on ... what's that?! A message from him:-) Finally!

...because You say so, I will lower the nets again...

God wants to change your life story! The question is, "Are you willing to partner with Him?"

When a word comes, you need to align with it. The word will be tested but HOLD ON, stay aligned and keep your position.

"And Simon (Peter) answered, Master, we toiled all night [exhaustingly] and caught nothing [in our nets]. But on the ground of Your word, I will lower the nets [again]." - Luke 5:5

Yes, you've tried before and failed BUT because HE has sent His word - let down your nets AGAIN. Dust yourself off, and go at it AGAIN.

Allow God to do something extraordinary with your life. We know how your story would probably end BUT you've met God... but GOD has showed up! You have encountered the God who created the heavens and the earth, the God who owns a cattle on a thousand hills. You gave your life to THAT God! Allow Him to do something unexpected; unpredictable - absolutely extraordinary with your life, something that if you were told about it - you also wouldn't believe it.

Do you remember Sarai? The barren old woman who was told that she whould be a mother of nations? Sounds absurd, doesn't it? Yes, she also laughed! After decades of "toiling" and catching "nothing", she was told that she would conceive! Sure enough, she gave birth to a bouncing baby boy! God will make you laugh.

Stay connected to Him.

Friday, August 23, 2013

My thoughts today...

It gives me comfort to view myself with all my complexities and think that I didn't just evolve from a long line of monkeys but that a loving God thoughtfully knit me in my mother's womb (check out Psalm 139). I was having a serious pity party yesterday and before I snapped myself out of it I felt really "alone and unloveable" (can someone feel me here?) but then I beheld my God and how awesome He is and I snapped out of it. He's got me covered, He loves me and He knows...

(I typed this a while back but didn't publish it...)

When you're feeling unsettled...

I recently heard that the best way to overcome motion sickness or seasickness is by fixing your eyes on the horizon - a fixed thing - in order to stabilise yourself.

In the same way, when think happen around me that I can't explain or that unsettle me, I've learnt that the best "cure" is to fix my eyes on God; His Creation and His Love - all fixed things to settle my system!

A young colleague (29 years old) passed away this past Monday and someone I considered to be a close friend betrayed me in a way that I didn't see coming. So, as a "cure" I took out my camera and took a couple of pictures of the "Love" ornaments in my living room and the beautiful flowers and fruit in my kitchen.

I haven't got life all figured out and I doubt anyone can ever say they have but, one thing I know by looking at creation is that there IS a Creator... a Purposeful Creator at that and that He is one Awe-inspiring being! I know that Love is the greatest gift one can give themselves; others and God... I don't know much else for sure.