A mountain, a fire, pain and gratitude

On Sunday 18th April 2021 I woke up early to meet my hiking buddies at Celia Forest. After three hours of sweating, beautiful conversations and amazing views, we went our separate ways. As I approached Mowbray, where my off-campus student accomodation is, I noticed that there was a fire on Table Mountain. The rest of that afternoon played out like a well-written movie as I watched the fire move closer and closer to where I live and I saw pictures and videos of the UCT campus up in flames and students being evacuated out of some of the residences on campus. Thankfully the fire did not reach where I live but I had to evacuate for a few hours because the smoke was seeping into my room. There was extensive damage to property to UCT's Upper and Middle Campus and UCT's VC has suspended all academic activity for the rest of the week while the university assesses the extent of the damage. All the reports that I have seen indicate that there has thankfully not been any loss of life, although a few of the firefighters were injured. As I type this, I believe that the fire has finally been contained, thanks to the heroic and tireless efforts of the firefighters. Monday morning I woke up to excruciating pain in my shoulder area. The optimist in me believed that this would subside but by late afternoon it had become worse. Fearing that I was suffering a heart attack or a stroke (please don't judge me, I've watched too many American medical series to not have reached this conclusion), I presented myself to the nearest emergency room I could get to. The doctor who examined me allayed my fears of anything like a heart attack or a stroke and he confirmed that my shoulder joint was also functioning well. This helped me calm down but I was still in a lot of pain. I decided to go back home and not stay the night in hospital. Tuesday morning, I presented myself to a GP and she confirmed that my lungs were healthy. Her diagnosis was that I might be suffering from Costochondritis which is an inflammation of the cartilage that connects a rib to the breastbone. I couldn't hide my disappointment when the doctor told me that Costochondritis usually has no apparent cause and that treatment would focus on easing my pain while I wait for the condition to improve on its own. This morning I woke up an realised that over the past couple of days, my focus had been on the excrutiating physical pain I had been feeling and on the devastation caused by the fire. While I had moments of gratitude, I had let go of my intentional gratitude practice. It's easy to be grateful when things are good but, not so much when the negative things of life happen. Right now, I intentionally choose gratitude. I choose to remember all the things that I have to be grateful for. I choose to believe that there is always something to be thankful for. I pray that you choose to do the same. #IntentionalLiving #GratefulLiving #Gratitude #IChooseGratitude

Becoming Miss Nandi

Last year I decided to embark on a new leg of my life journey when I applied to study towards being a qualified teacher. One of my adopted baby sisters and my youngest cousin have both always called me "Miss Nandi" and so I guess, they called it years before the thought even came to my mind! As I pen this, it has been a month since I began with my week-long observation as a local high school in East London and it has been about two weeks of PGCE classes at UCT. The week I spent observing seasoned teachers as a student teacher was the first time I was in a classroom since matriculating in the year 2000. It was amusing to see the dynamics between students and teachers as a third-party. That week had me reminiscing about my own high-school days. I read Economics and Finance as my undergraduate degree at UCT exactly 20 years ago. It has really been lovely being back on campus two decades later. There have been a lot of changes coupled with a lot of reminiscing and going down memory lane. Add the "new normal" of online learning due to the Corona Virus pandemic, it has really been challenging and eye-opening in so many ways. I think that when I decided to pursue this qualification, I walked into in naively and already in the first two weeks I have been challenged to think about teaching, schooling, curriculum in a deeper - almost philosophical way. I have always looked at older ladies who are fearless when it comes to adapting to change in their lives and it's wo funny to hear people in my life (especially younger women friends) use the words "brave" and "courageous" when describing me. I really hadn't thought of myself in that manner but, I welcome having my life encourage someone to take risks, embrace change and thrive during difficult circumstances. I look forward to the many ways that being a full time student will positively affect my life. One thing is certain, I know that I will be a better person at the end of this year because of the teachers I'm sitting under.

My vow of abstinence

I've been wanting to write something down about what God is doing in my life and today, I was finally moved to put pen to paper as I watched an episode from one of my favourite podcasts: Dear Future Wifey with Laterras R Whitfield. Today as I watched Season 2, E208: A Vow of Abstinence (Dr. Conway Edwards & Michael Bethany). I was ministered to in an amazing way as I listened to the teaching shared by Dr. Conway Edwards, as I listened to the conversation and joined in on the worship session! 

It always fills me with so much gratitude how, whatever I go through, I always find some brave person sharing their own journey with something similar. I'm grateful for every person who has courageously chosen to live their life intentionally and transparently so that many will share in the wisdom and encouragement gleaned from how their story is unfolding. 

I gave my life to Jesus in Primary School and while I haven't been a poster child for Christianity, my relationship with God has always been the lens through which I've interpreted life. I got introduced to sex quite young when I was molested as a 10 year old, oral sex in high school then when I decided I wanted to have sex when I got to varsity.

During my walk with God, I walked away from him in my early twenties but even when I recommitted my life to following and serving Christ, I definitely kept my sexuality / sex life out of the equation. As a result, this part of my life has been the source of the most angst / drama / conflict for me.

Towards the end of 2020, I finally got to the point where I decided to give ALL OF ME to God. I guess I really just realised that I've done things my way and failed miserably so now, I'm doing things God's way. I don't expect my life of abstinence to be easy because I've experienced some "good sex" in my life but, it's a vow I'm making to God.

"being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ;" - Philippians 1:6 NKJV

"[Not in your own strength] for it is God Who is all the while effectually at work in you [energizing and creating in you the power and desire], both to will and to work for His good pleasure and satisfaction and delight." - Philippians 2: 13 AMPC

#Covenant #Abstinence #MyVow #Worship #DearFutureWifey #DearFutureHusband #IntentionalLiving #LivingIntentionallyAndTransparently #LoveReigns