Let Love Reign...
I write whatever comes to mind. Just sharing as I live this life of determined Love, following Jesus..
Wednesday, April 21, 2021
A mountain, a fire, pain and gratitude
Thursday, April 1, 2021
Becoming Miss Nandi
Monday, January 11, 2021
My vow of abstinence
I've been wanting to write something down about what God is doing in my life and today, I was finally moved to put pen to paper as I watched an episode from one of my favourite podcasts: Dear Future Wifey with Laterras R Whitfield. Today as I watched Season 2, E208: A Vow of Abstinence (Dr. Conway Edwards & Michael Bethany). I was ministered to in an amazing way as I listened to the teaching shared by Dr. Conway Edwards, as I listened to the conversation and joined in on the worship session!
It always fills me with so much gratitude how, whatever I go through, I always find some brave person sharing their own journey with something similar. I'm grateful for every person who has courageously chosen to live their life intentionally and transparently so that many will share in the wisdom and encouragement gleaned from how their story is unfolding.
I gave my life to Jesus in Primary School and while I haven't been a poster child for Christianity, my relationship with God has always been the lens through which I've interpreted life. I got introduced to sex quite young when I was molested as a 10 year old, oral sex in high school then when I decided I wanted to have sex when I got to varsity.
Thursday, July 30, 2020
Lessons from nature
Sunday, June 21, 2020
Thoughts on Fathers day 2020
As a girl raised by a single mother, I especially struggled with this day when I was younger.
I'm grateful that I was able to forgive my biological father for being absent because that unforgiveness was a heavy burden to bear.
My mom has tried her best to play the role of both parents in my life but, I needed my dad to be the first man to show and tell me love... to make me feel protected. I'm grateful that in my life, even with no reference of an earthly father, I have been able to cultivate a relationship with my heavenly Father.
I have had many people who have played "father figure", from my maternal grandfather to my uncles; boyfriends; lovers; family friends; managers at the workplace; colleagues and "brothers".
On this day I choose to honour every man that has played a "father figure" role in my life... No matter how often I express my appreciation, I will never be able to fully articulate how grateful I am to you for choosing to model that "fatherly love" for me.
On this day, I honour all the fathers who choose to be present and do their best to play this important role - to their biological children and those that destiny has gifted them with. I see you, I pray for you because we need you to be healthy and sane... You are loved.
Wednesday, January 29, 2020
Being real, dealing with shame, overcoming failures and walking tall
I'll spare you the details of the situation but I will share with you some important lessons that I was reminded of and learned during this time:
1. Shame thrives in being hidden/ covered up, in you cowering/ hiding, in dark spaces. Allow yourself to be seen (by those you trust, of course) and deal with the shame head-on. In this space, Brene Brown is an absolutely empowering resource.
2. What other people think of you/ say about you is none of your business. This is something I embraced years into my adulthood and it's held me in good stead. When faced with people knowing about an issue that you would rather have kept hidden, there's really no value in agonizing over what people are saying behind your back. You can never control people's conversations about you and their thoughts regarding you so just talk to yourself to not spend too much time wondering/ stressing about that.
3. Change your focus. It's easy to feel like the whole world is coming to an end but honestly, there are always bigger and more important matters going on around you - even when you are thick in a crisis. I found that changing my focus to other matters helped me not think that my personal "crisis of shame" is what every conversation is about.
4. Accept grace (unmerited favour) and love. Sure, there will always be people who will judge and condemn you but there are also people who will show you love and provide you with a safe space to be naked and unashamed. If you do not have any people like that in your life, you can always pay for the services of a professional who's interest is not in showing you how horrible you are but in helping you deal with the situation you are facing. I am a Christian, so for me, this also meant accepting God's grace. Advice that I've always given people is to always maintain honest communication with God - there's nothing you can do that can shock Him!
5. Remember to breathe and maintain an attitude of gratitude. Whatever is going wrong in your life, I guarantee you that there are things you can be grateful for. Keep reminding yourself of whatever good there is in your life.
This is by no means an exhaustive list of the lessons I've learned but what was on my mind to write. Whatever situation you may be faced with... it may be the end of the world as you knew it but it's not the end of the world. Get up, dust yourself off and keep walking (whether or not you are limping or even if crawling is all you can muster) ... let us fail forward!
Sending you love.
Friday, December 20, 2019
Drama at the airport... Waving 2019 goodbye, waiting for 2020 in anticipation
I got to the airport a bit early coz knew I needed to wrap my bag. The police created a bit of a delay driving in so I was early but not as early as planned. While I was I was waiting for my bag to be wrapped, the machine broke down and I had to move to another one. (I didn't want to chance not wrapping my bag after I had my perfume and jewellery stolen out of my bag in August). While waiting for the bag to be wrapped, I checked in online with only two minutes before the online check-in was closed.
After my bag was wrapped I then ran to the check-in counter to leave my luggage only to be told that check-in was closed so I couldn't leave my bag. Apparently, my only option was to buy another ticket. I quickly checked and the next available ticket was today afternoon for R2599 and I knew then I had to think fast and make another plan.
At this point, it's 10 minutes before the boarding gate closes. I go to a kiosk with a gentle brother (a Rastafarian fellow with kind eyes) and ask to leave my bag with him. He obliged, for a "small fee" of R250. I remembered that a friend had said she'd be driving down to East London on Sunday so I was hoping that she could take the bag with her. She could only come through today to fetch my bag from whoever I'd leave it with so I quickly called one of my mothers (an older lady I met and became friends with about 10 years ago) to organise for my bag to be picked up coz the guy I left it with would knock off at 19h00.
All of this I'm doing while trying to get to my boarding gate. Oh, did I mention that the ladies at the gates went through my luggage coz my perfume bottle had a cap "that looked like a weapon"?! LOL At this point I'm thinking, "Lady, you can have the bottle cap but I'm not losing another perfume to airport staff!" Fortunately, she realised that it wasn't a weapon and I now had to sprint to the boarding gate.
I get to the boarding gate, C12, only to be redirected to E7 (downstairs from where I was). I was told I had 5 minutes to board! By the time I actually boarded I'm sweating like a maniac but grateful to have made it!
What a way to start my holiday! I'm so grateful for God's grace, quick-thinking and for the people he put along my way who were willing to help.
Now that I'm home safe, my luggage is secured all is well, I am smiling at how God just wanted to show me his grace in an exciting way that left me even more excited about 2020! A new season of grace is surely coming.